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Lean In, Sis!

So. Life is a mean, hairy nightmare of a thing at times, isn't it?! The funny thing is that it usually gets the meanest right when you get comfortable in a moment of glory. Who made this algorithm, anyway.....don't answer that! LOL! The last time we visited I had just bought my first home and was still basking in the glory of it all. Welp, my daddy taught me some very important lessons in his life. One was this: "If things are going bad, don't worry, they will change. If things are going good, don't worry, they will change". I used to hate that saying. Now, I realize that he wanted me to go ahead and get comfortable with change because it's the only real constant that we will ever know.

Very shortly after I got settled in my new home, I decided to take a lunchtime drive by the lake. I drove down onto this little sand bar, opened my tailgate, and took in the peace and serenity of it all while I ate my lunch. It really was a great moment of deep reflection and gratitude. I picked up my trash, threw it away, got into my suv, and drove my front passenger tire right into a mudhole. Yup...that's right...I got hardcore stuck in a mudhole that my truck's tire sunk deeper and deeper into as I tried to maneuver my way out. Long story short, it started an avalanche of vehicle issues that costed me several thousands of dollars, approximately a month with no transportation, and every shred of patience I had to resolve. Welcome home, Angela! Welcome home!

Y'all! I don't think I have ever been so stressed and defeated as I was those few weeks. And what's worse is that I have superwoman syndrome! You know what that is!! Where, as a woman, you feel the need to be hyper-independent and hate to ask anyone for help, especially long term help! SMH! It's interesting that we spend so much of our time building these strong support systems. We give the people in them all the support that we can muster. We sew generously into making these systems so strong. Then, when WE need THEM, we would rather suffer in silence than seek the reciprocity that is right there at our finger tips. Ahhh, the juicy contradiction of it all!

But, there is one thing about true, authentic support systems that this experience taught me. Even when you refuse to ask, they still show up! Whew! My heart is still full! During that month, my support system showed up and showed out and my girls and I did not miss a single beat of life! They gave me rides to and from work. They loaned me their vehicle. They sent money for repairs to my vehicle. They talked me off the ledge of anxiety and depression. They picked the kids up for me or took me to get them. They refused to allow me to wallow in despair. And most, if not all of this, without me even asking. How?

They called me, they showed up, they stopped by, they just did it! They gave me what I needed and that was people to say "we got you, sis! Lean in!", when all I wanted to do was run away. When I felt guilt for being a "burden", they lovingly corrected me and reminded me that this is what real relationships are....give and take. And that now, it was my turn to take because I give so much! We work so hard to build support systems around ourselves to often just let them stand idle so that we can continue to be superwoman. Sis, ain't ya tired?! Yes?! Well, lean!

In those moments where you just cannot hold it all on your own, LEAN! When life is doing it's best to take you down, LEAN! When your knees get weak and your heart becomes weary, LEAN! You see, every person that God has positioned around you stands in the gap to give you a physical manifestation of His love and help for you right here on Earth. So, stop looking at it as you being a burden on another person and look at it as leaning on the One who promised to supply your needs! Don't miss the boat out of the flood waiting on Him to come down first hand and pull you out of the waters. LEAN on those who are here to support you! Just lean in, sis!

Light and Love.....

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Amen, thanks for showing us that we do not have to always put a strong face on. And it is okay to take the help that is given to us by the ones who love and truly care.


LaShondra Tonette
LaShondra Tonette
Nov 03, 2021

Thank you for encouraging me to lean in. I often isolate and suffer in silence as well. I will remember to LEAN IN when the inevitable change occurs.

Sep 07, 2022
Replying to

Yes!! Definitely lean in...that's what the support systems are built for, after all.

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