So. As I type this, I must say that I truly understand Dorothy's perspective in a different light now. Whether you are a Wizard of Oz or a Wiz fan, you know that it took her believing to get her home! It took her standing on her faith and doing the work to get her home! I decided recently to take a huge leap of faith and, I must say, it is the best chance that I have ever taken. Fear has the power to keep us stagnant and stuck in a space that feels comfortable, even when God is tapping us saying "It's time to leap". Faith requires leaping and knowing that He will catch you every time! So, I decided, as a single mother of 2 girls who had a major promise to fulfill to myself and them (a home to call our own), that it was time to push fear aside and stand firm on my faith.
In August 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, my girls and I packed up the only home we've known for 8 years. We uprooted our comfort and moved in with my mother in order to prepare for what God had in store for us. I thank my mom for the gift of safe haven and support through the process. At 35 it was harder mentally than I thought it would be to be back under her roof, but she helped to put me at ease. For me, who has been considered a picture of success most of my life, I felt like I was regressing...like I had failed. She helped me to remember that this was a temporary detour in order to get to the promise....she reminded me that I am still moving forward! My girls and I sold just about everything we owned, except our clothes and personal affects. We tried our best to not spend frivolously, while I learned to build a new, healthier relationship with money.
For 8 months, I shared one bedroom with my 5 year old, worked up to 15 hours of overtime a week, paid off debts, stacked my savings, and prayed. I stood still when God told me to and got moving when He yelled at me. Lol!! I must have started getting a little too comfortable again because around the holidays, He started yelling at the top of His lungs. It was then that I decided it was time to start looking. I hadn't saved as much as I'd planned to yet, I was still trying to build my credit up a bit more, and I hadn't even began searching the market. One week before Christmas, I called my realtor and told her that I'm ready to schedule some viewings. We visited 3 houses during that week, but none of them were quite the right fit for us. Each of them would require some sort of continued sacrifice in order to make it the right fit.
Then, on Christmas Eve, I went under contract for a brand new construction in an established area with access to the schools and daycare of our choice and close to my mom. I got to pick out my own paint, counters, and flooring, turning it into a custom build made especially for me. We were able to literally help make it ours when all I wanted was anything to call my own!!! On March 26, 2021, I was finally able to close on my first home with the amazing guidance of my realtors and 2 of my biggest supporters, my big sister and brother-in-love! Yall should have seen my sister's pride watching her "Tweety" conquer yet another milestone. But, what's best, my 15 year old, Lakyn was right beside me watching the process because I need her to know that she can have whatever she puts her mind to!
On facebook, I posted two pictures that were taken in August 2020 right before we turned our keys in for our temporary home. We were nervous, excited, and worn out from moving all week. We felt uneasy and a little scared about what was to come next. But, we fought that fear and took the leap! It's not been an easy road...trust me. I have fought the urge to just settle. I have fought my depression and anxiety. I have fought the enemy trying to use some of those around me as a stopping block to make me think I couldn't do it or didn't deserve it. But, it was worth it!
In the end, what God had for me outweighed even the things I had in mind for myself. I keep a vision board next to my bed from 2020. At the start of 2021, I thought about tossing it out. But, I decided to keep that faith trigger up because my house was on that board and I still needed that daily reminder! Whoever you are, I encourage you, don't be afraid to leap!!! If He will do it for me in spite of myself, He will do it for you!! And you just might get more than you even realized that you deserve!
Light and Love....