So. One day recently, one of my good friends and I were passing each other in the hall at work. We paused, gave each other a hug, and then I paid her a compliment on her curls. She instantly responded with "no, your curls...". I automatically began saying something negative about my curls, but stopped. I thought about it for a second and instead responded "Thank you, girl. Why do we do that? LOL. Both of our curls are beautiful." That moment made me realize just how uncomfortable we have been made to feel about compliments. I can't begin to tell you how many times someone starts to pay me a compliment and I feel required to minimize or negate the thing that they are recognizing. How many of us do this?? Why do we do this? Just take the compliment and say thank you!
We are taught growing up to not brag and not be boastful. When we become adults, that frame of mind is further driven into our "moral compass"...especially for women. For a man, it is considered acceptable and expected to be boastful about who they are and what they offer. But, if a woman does that??!! Oh, man, who does she think she is?? But, the reality is that women are absolutely amazing beings. We are literally super heroes! I mean what other beings function in as many rolls as a woman has to and still manage to keep themselves looking beautiful? We are mothers, partners, sisters, daughters, counselors, organizers, planners, accountants, chefs, professional drivers....and this is all before getting to our desk for work in the morning. LOL!! So, when someone takes a moment to tell you how awesome you are, just take the compliment and say thank you.
On Facebook recently, one of my FB friends posted a meme that said "tell me your favorite thing about you". Instantly, a few people responded with their favorite thing about the person who posted it, then went back to share something they loved about them after they realized what the meme actually said. I decided to participate. Do you know that this is one of the toughest things I have ever responded to on Facebook?? Not because there are not positive things about myself that I could have listed. But, because it felt super awkward and boastful to pay myself a compliment or acknowledge that I am proud to possess a certain characteristic or trait. But, if I don't like things about myself, the things that others like about me mean nothing. If I can't learn to identify and appreciate the strengths I have, the only thing I will ever be comfortable acknowledging are my weaknesses. We have to learn to acknowledge the things about ourselves that we love and even be okay with paying ourselves compliments.
Whether it's trying to be modest or self-esteem issues or just flat out feeling like we don't deserve the compliment, I encourage every amazing woman reading this to just learn to say thank you. Don't put any "buts" on it! Don't minimize it! Don't feel the need to pay a compliment in return! Simply practice the art of receiving the love being offered to you. Make an active, fully aware decision to just take the compliment. Being proud of who you are is not the same as being a prideful person. Accepting a compliment from others or even from yourself is not the same as being boastful. If no one ever told you, it is okay to have pride in yourself and the amazing things that you are doing with the life you have. It is possible to remain humble while also being proud of who you are. If no one else has given you permission, I am telling you to just say thank you, sis! Soak it in...because you really are amazing!
Light and Love....